20 WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
(1) At lunch time sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
(2) Page yourself over the intercom and don't disguise your voice.
(3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
(4) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".
(5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everybody has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
(6) In the memo field of all your checks, write; For Sexual favors.
(7) Finish all your sentences with; In accordance with the Prophecy
(8) dontuseanypunctuation
(9) As often as possible, Skip rather than walk.
(10) Ask people what sex they are. When they answer laugh hysterically.
(11) Sing along at the opera.
(12) In the drive through specify that your order is To-Go.
(13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why their poems don't rhyme.
(14) Put mosquito netting all around your work area and play jungle sounds all day.
(15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
(16) Have all your co-workers address you by your wrestling name; Rock Hard
(17) When your money comes out of the ATM, Scream; I WON!, I WON!
(18) When leaving the zoo, start running toward the parking lot, Yelling; run for your lives, they're loose.
(19) Tell your children over dinner; Due to the slow economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.
(20) Give this to someone to make them smile. It's called therapy.
Enjoy, Stan
" Old enough to know better, yet young enough to keep on doing it!"
